Knights of the Olde Speech Wikia
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The flat out most bizarre piece of writing in the KOTOS roster, and possibly ever.

"Well! What are we waiting for?" Piped up Peragrine. "Let's go!"

And so, with certain choice pleasantries and goodbyes and farewells and bewares and good lucks, the guests were shown to the front door and shown out...


Right into the hands of Mr. Noodle. . . And Mr Noodles brother, Mr. noodle.

Mr. Noodle's brother, Mr noodle, lifted up a old, notty hand, which held a small fishbowl and in the fishbowl, was a fish, which swam around a small old fashioned artillery cannon.

Peragrine ducked low.


A second later the cannon fired- -  Bubbles.

Right after that, things happened very expediently.

·         Mr. Noodle revealed a real hand cannon at his waist, and aimed it at Stirling,

·         who socked Mr. Noodle's brother Mr noodle on the face,

·         who understandably dropped the fishbowl, and began to yodel.

·         Peragrine caught the fshbowl, (since he was down there...)

·         Mr Noodles brother, Mr noodle's yodeling skills (or lack thereof) succeded in cracking the glass of the fishbowl,

·         and Mr noodle fired the hand cannon, at waist hight, sortof, "gunslinger" mode

·         which shot a dozen or so corks at the Fishbowl which was at the same hight finished the job, obliterating the glass fishbowl.

·         And then, a well thrown shoe aimed at Mr Noodle's Noodle knocked the nut unconscious. Perry looked back.

Bethany was now one shoe short, but was wearing a satisfied grin.

Mr Noodle's brother, Mr noodle, now mostly moaning, began to get up, but Stirling tacked him back to the ground. Then he realized that the Brother was no longer fighting back. Mr Noodle's brother, Mr noodle was looking past him. Stirling followed his gaze.

The fish from the fishbowl was lying amongst the shards of it's former home,        gasping . . .                                  flapping . . .                                                                     drying . . . .                                                                                                    W a i t i n g.

Mr Noodles brother, Mr noodle, reached out, mouthing the words, "Dorothy, Dorothy,"

Stirling got off of his opponent, allowing him to rise, as Peragrine knelt down to pick up 'Dorothy', but was brusquely repelled by Mr. Noodles brother, Mr. noodle, who tenderly and lovingly picked up the fish from the bits of glass, and began to caress it, even so gently.

Peragrine, after watching a moment, frantically fished into his backpack, and pulled out a bottle of water.


Seeing where Peragrine was going, Stirling quickly unlooped a saucepan from his pack, and tossed it to Perry, who caught it with ease borne of a critical need, a time restraint. . .     


He poured the bottled water into the sausepan, then showed it to Mr Noodles brother, Mr noodle, who was openly weeping.

Peragrine proffered the pan to the brokenhearted man, Who put the fish, into the dish, Spiced it up.  and ate it! Like sushi.


Everyone stood aghast while Mr Noodles brother, Mr noodle wiped his mouth with a hanky.


The first to recover was . . . Mr Noodle. . . Who saw the broken fishbowl and then his brother wiping his lips with a hanky.

.  .  .  It is understandable that he howled with rage and the both of them went over the hill and through the dale in a matter of seconds. Leaving us with no more and no less than what we had when we stepped off the porch with the visitors. Just one less bottle of water, and a whole lotta wasted letters. Bother! Retry.

Perry proffered the pan, To the brokenhearted man, Who put the fish, Into the dish, Made a wish, Gave it a swish, And suddenly Bam! He garnished it with a ham.

Hmm. Not quite.

One last try!

Perry proffered the pan, To the brokenhearted man, Who put the fish, Into the dish Held his breath, For fear of the death, Of his fishy friend, Which he considered an indefinite lend, From his fellow, The dark hunter, ELMO.

Would this final link To the old days of slink (-ing) Fail, and chink?

No! Dorothy lives! What joy! What bliss! That certainly was a near miss.

Look Mr. Noodle, Come, look at this! Though your shot was true, And was cause to be blue, We can safely say  That its all worked out someway! Hip hip hurray!

Let us dance! Let us sway!

Let's all say:


Long live the fish!

Long live the fish!

Long live the-*Squish.*

>>Next Suggested Story>> Concerning the Construction of a Certain Rad Washing Machine

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